stop stalking me

Sunday, January 16, 2005

sometimes i wonder.....

Sometimes i wonder if i'm on the right path.
Sacrificing everything to attain my goal.
Maybe you are right, in the end of the day you lose everything including yourself but you get no where.

But what is life w/o a goal?
And what's the point of having a goal and not pursuing it?
It's just like having a toilet w/o a toilet bowl. Meaningless.

I wanted to give up on my goal and spread my attention to every aspect of my life. But now, i guess i won't be doing it anymore.
It's pointless.
Some things are just not worth it.
No matter how hard you try to salvage it, there is a huge barrier stopping you.
I won't try to salvage it anymore.
I won't want to waste my energy no more.
I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
I don't want to take the risk and end up with nothing at all.

Maybe you are not so right afterall.
I can achieve my goal if i tried hard enough.
Even if i don't i land somewhere near.
I'll be standing ahead of others, not beside them.
I'll rule over them.
I don't have to suffer and follow.
Even if i means i'll lose everything.
Right now, i've lost hope in everything else.
Goal is the only thing i see, sense, desire.

When i stand high above everyone, i'll get everything back.
They will come to me in awe, respect, honour.
Even if it is a hypocrisy.
I don't give a damm.

It's just not worth it.
I deserve something better than this.

You'll think i'm stupid.
But the truth is i've set this goal since young.
I said them out with my own mouth to my siblings and parents.
I've to keep my word.
I'll not be looked down on.
Treated as someone who only talk.
Someone who doesn't get down to work.

Yes, they might think that i'm still young and i don't know what i'm saying.
But i'll keep my word.
This is what i really am.
My mindset.
My personality.
My approach towards things in life.
This is just me.
The real me.

It's a pragmatic world.
Either i submit to you.
Or you submit to me.

I've have the choice.
And i've chosen to be submitted to.

8:58 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn