Thursday, September 01, 2005
sept 01
she came up after her presentation. i thought it went well. but apparently it didn't. she even cried. it really hurt to watch her cry. i was lost at the moment her tears fell. guilt. i am guilty. it felt like i used someone else's hand to slap her face. although she said it isn't my fault, i know it is. to some extent. i promised her i would do her flash and do it well. but it seemed like i failed. miserably. things might have been better if i didn't do the flash for her. i guess the flash was not appealing, so the teacher made things difficult for her. and also as a result of why the storyboard was being critised. she said that the teacher was baised. i know. but at the end of the day, it boils down to my fault. i got her into trouble. i jeapodized her chance of getting an A for TEP. i'm sorry. i dont know how to make up for it. i really have no idea. i couldn't even make her smile when she cried. sigh. i failed as a friend. i failed terribly. she must have felt really bad. she must have wanted to scold me but she didn't. i wished she did. i know tonight you wont be able to go to sleep feeling happy. though i made you promised that you wont think about it anymore, i know you will. i want to do something to help you. but i can't and i am afraid to. i am sorry. really am. hopefully after your trip to hk, you'll come back smiling. back to your old self.
4:31 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn
sometimes i love all these pain i'm going through cause they remind me how much a failure i am.
