stop stalking me

Thursday, November 16, 2006

feeling lethargic today

Today is just too tiring and long for me. I feel so restless, so lethargic, so wrong. And i almost couldn't wake up for school again. Anyway it started off badly today. I was really pissed with myself over something - which i don't wish to reveal. Probably shocked some people with my attitude towards the tutor. Guess she's just unlucky enough to step on my tail on the wrong day. *snarls*

I wanted so much to join my sis and coz for movie but i guess i couldn't overcome my tiredness. As i type i can feel the strength draining away slowly, very slowly.

Mom called just now:

Mom: What do i buy for ur dinner?
Me: No need
Mom: What u mean don't need? How can u not eat dinner?!
[Me thinking "okay just agree before she turns into a monster"]
Me: Okok, just get me porridge. Thanks!

You see, i've a very affection term (monster) which i call my mom when she's pms-ing. It's like a warning or something between us (siblings). Whenever the "monster" term is heard, you buck up and be wise - Don't do anything stupid and hide all the stupid things that you've done OR ELSE there's only 1 route for you; death. Scary huh? Yes it is.

There's something i want alot now. But i think i've to approach it patiently. The evil side is like, "go for it NOW or never!!" And the angelic side is going, "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast." My brain is a battlefield now. But i shan't be defeated so easily!

I've got maybe a hundred random thoughts running through my mind now. I want to speak of alot of things, but there are some i know i can't write in here.

Hey God knows who reads my blog. Maybe the person i'm bitching about reads it. But then again, it might be a good thing cos' i want her to know (to a certain extent) how much i hate her. She prolly doesn't know how much i hate her now. Hatred is the kinda thing that's kept in the heart and it just grows unknowingly. And one fine day it just explodes when the chance is given. That's how murderers are born. Haa!

Then are things that i think of but i ~~can't~~ don't want to write cos' i'm unsure about it. Some things are just hard to say.

I think it's one of my bitching days again.

Oh yea i've stopped posting in the private blog for quite sometime. I think i've to explain. After checking the stats and IP, i suspect there's an unwelcome visitor. Whoever it is i just wanna tell you

FUCK OFF.

Seriously am i that interesting to you? ~~You need to get a life.~~ Oh no, you need to DO SOMETHING TO YOUR LIFE.

/ps suddenly i feel a upsurge of energy. I guess being mad at someone would miraculously give you strength. (:

And to the person who gave the pass, i'm not going to be pissed or mad at you at all. You're ought to feel very sorry, and ashamed of yourself.

Well the weekend that i've longed for is coming again, and i'm glad. :)

8:12 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn