Why do everything turn out bad in the end? What a way to kick start a new year indeed. Fate played me and it played me well. I don't know why the sudden change in me. I'm surprised myself. I can't help reproaching myself. For everything, everything that has happened. I'm ashamed. Very ashamed. To lose that something i value so dearly.. it's heart wrenching. On the bus thoughts just keep pushing their way into my mind. What am i when i can't even hold on to that. And losing made it worst. For a moment i wished you were there to listen. But i guess it's quite impossible when we are so far apart, mentally.

I don't know what else i should believe in.