guess i still like this same old blog skin best.
all the things i want and need is already in there.
besides really annoyed with how the new skin functions.
lol.
indecisive bitch~



9:37 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



lalaa


waiting for jean to come to sch and play with me!!
hehe..
she's taking so long~ ^-^

and 1 of my left toe hurts like hell. )=

3:55 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



hmm


new skin. took me 15mins to fix it up.(wonder why i can't fix it in sch =/)

but..
but..
but..
but..

many flaws... to me...
the box seems a'lil too small for me. to much constrain.
and i can't put my song list anymore! =(
And.. the archive page.. doesn't show u the whole month's entry directly!
You've gotta click "my life" again to see all the entries. =(
Like kinda lousy. Don't know why i like it so much. Just because of the butterflies. Sigh.
Till i've time to do up my own skin...or maybe fix this pretty butterfly skin to suit my needs. =D
That would prolly take about 3yrs? lol!!
Aiya.. wait until i have time la. *roll eyes

9:13 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



tum de dum~


Eh. wonder wtf happened to blogspot. Just look at this man!

Tried using both my browsers, IE and firefox , but both had the same result. This sucks! urgh!

Oh well.
Whatever it is, i still needa blog.
Sigh.

As usual i waited for my bus at yck interchange. I stared at the big grass patch infront of me. This time it looked different. It was no longer the pretty green patch. Under the destructive hands of mankind, now it has holes all over it! holes! and it look so so so ugly now. yuck!
Don't know wassup with these people digging holes.
*Finding the secret hideout of the curry puff sellers? --> get the joke wendy? lol!!
The grass patch at my house area shared the same fate too! Just wtf are they trying to do? Grow trees?

Anyway, it's really funny typing a post with such a weird looking blogspot. Makes me feel insecure when i type out my entry.

Okay, allow me to bitch now.

Was at eldc when the some of the girls were making a whole lot of noise. One of them singing "uptown girl" which sounded totally zhao sia. And another shierking in her high-pitched-tweety-bird-voice. Then out of sudden they started comparing mr woon with mr fuan. One of them commented that mr. fuan is sexy. I was like "HUH! Excuse me, would you mind saying that again?"
It's like so.... Eww! Sexy? Did i hear wrongly? Oh please la~ you don't call someone sexy just because he or she is huggable or look like a bear. For goodness sake you make me wanna puke! Totally absurb! Then one of them said: "i think even his gentle hug would crush me to death la" haha~ the evil one! hehe. But i liked that. lol!

Oh yea Jean, thanks for counting down to 6pm for me!
hehe.. and where are you!?!?! I thought u said u'll wait for me when i reach home??!!?? LOL!!
And my block leave is coming leh!!! MEaning your's ending!! Muhahahaha~
Maybe 1 of the days during ur block leave i'll go to sch n teach u cs yea? =)
And Monday going anot!?!?!?!

7:30 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



ehhh


wa... SIAN! only word to describe my situation now. lol
everyone's on flexi... ying hui, shiying, wendy, mel, jun ming.

zzZZz

but it's quite nice being alone here. peace. =)

Jean kept telling me to zhao from school. I really wish i can but too bad mr woon next door. =/
Anyway, u said u would company me till school ends. So no need to zhao la~ lol!
Was talking to jean about shaun just now. Realised how big a vainpot he has become. lol! unbelievable.

Anyway, just now i did a movie clip on an ATM machine spitting out coins. Though the idea is not original, i think it looks nice and appropriate for my assignment~ hehe

NOthing much to do... why why why...
Listening to the songs i've uploaded on my blog. Guess it's the only changes i made to my blog! hoho~

my back pain is back again!
sigh.
it hurts like hell.
i can't still still in a position for long =(

4:24 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn






damn, i screwed up my new blogksin.
bloody ass.. guess i'm stuck with this.

wendy see la.. in the end remove password but blogskin havent change.
()&@^%&*^@#%&*^*#&^$@#

1:16 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn






bloody blog

12:51 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



last night...


i layed in bed staring at the ceiling. Many things ran through my mind. Just then mummy walked into my room and sat on my bed - admiring her work(the new position of the study table and book shelve)

i asked mummy why people change.
she told me:

• sometimes people change to suit into the environment
• sometimes the environment make people change
• sometimes people change for the better, to improve themselves.

the last sentence she told me was: "sometimes people change, but they got something worst. so the important thing is to know what you are really changing for."

Then i asked her: "sometimes people change w/o knowing that they've changed right? why?"

silence. mummy didn't reply. with a little pat on my head, she stood up and left my room.
As i watched her leave, a warm tear rolled down.
I guess i would never know why. I'm just a confused child.

10:00 AM
i spilled milk on the lawn



woohoo~


downloaded some songs and sent shiying some of them. =p
HOpe u enjoy listening to 'em shiying! =))

oh yea, did some changes with my song list. check it out. =D
*more changes in time to come

Did some planning with sy and wendy for our block leave. hopefully there's time left for me to do my reports and stuff. lol!

~~~~~~~~

Have i really changed, shiying? Honestly i don't think so. Perhaps towards that issue... yes, maybe i've changed a little. But i was "forced" to change. Anyway, i can't say who's right or who's wrong. It's just so unfair to judge this matter. No matter who will be judging it. It's unfair.

Aiya...when wendy read this she'll be thinking: "aiya.. don't think about it is the best la~"

then shiying will go: "aiya.. u not like me..na de qi fang de xia.. so shiu bian" (my translation - cheap!)
WAhahaha!! kidding =p
Eh.. i don't deny i'm not like you. i suck at this. must start learning from you!

Aiya..."wo bu zai fu tian chang di jiu. zhi zai fu cheng jing yong you."

-end-

~~~~~~~~

okay lancaster u've got something to do now -- can read my blog!
LOL!! tag me dude! ;)

10:15 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



eh?




i think my blog shouldn't be watch my fly anymore.

it's more like watch me fall.

man... this sucks.

why is my blog getting more morbid?!?!?!?!??!?!

&^@#&%^*&#@^%*&#^@%*&^@#%*&#

10:55 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



)=




9:43 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



events


okay. received the pictures of last week's events from wendy.
here:


wendy and me =)


duckie Jeff and me! lol~ He makes a perfect duck. HOho!

2:04 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



phew!


a break off from flash work.

gonna blog about how unadaptable i am to changes. =/

Installed this pretty navigation bar quite some time ago in my computer.



Well, the problem is each time i'm using the school's computer, i always push my mouse to the top of the screen for the navigation bar to drop. And i was stupid enough to wait 3-4 seconds each time before i realise i'm not using my home computer.


----------

ahh... sept is coming to an end.. and oct will start.. soon it'll be nov and in no time it'll be dec and christmas comes - something worth living for. =D
*exactly 3 months to xmas!

----------

damn, i'm getting sleepy. anyway, back to work. cya~

10:40 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



a slack day


Had KFC for lunch with Shiying, Kay Yam, Jun Ming, Lancaster, Kok Meng and Harold today. Been eating unhealthy food for the past 2 days. lol. Poor body. hehe... and WOW! You should see how much kay yam ate. lol. freaky. Shiying and me could hardly finish ours. And finally i hate lunch with kay yam so he won't keep saying that i ps him. HA!

Haven't been playing games since last week. Somehow i seemed to have lost interest in life. I think it had change my lifestyle... hmmm

i'm guilty

i'm guilty

i'm guilty

i'm guilty

i'm guilty

what's with that dead connection? an unexpected outcome that took me by a big surprise.

7:32 AM
i spilled milk on the lawn



hmm


nothing much for the day.

went to pizza hut for lunch, that's all i can remember.





9:31 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



pathetic


retardedness.
rumours are stupid.
pathetic people spread pathetic rumours.
what goes round comes round.
you never know when's your turn!

i mean, i don't know why people like to go around spreading rumours. Like it's so fun. Eeew... i wonder why people are so insensitive. Duh! Wake up Jiaxin.. look at the real world, this is reality, people are nothing but a brainless monkey -- monkeys trying to be funny.

I like what Lancaster said: "the more it is untrue, the more people want to spread." Quite true.

==========

boy O boy... it's been a long time since i logged on msn at home. The moment i signed in, i am so frickin' entertained by 2 freaks on msn. And they are.....
*drum rolls*......
>
>
>
>
>
Jun Ming and Lancaster!!
>
>
>
>
Applause!!! Woohoo!! lol!!!

just imagine, you want to get some peace, but you simply can't. Because two guys are arguing over some lame matters, which in the first place is retarded to fight over about. Oh.. I know Jun Ming is going to correct me by saying... "it's exhanging comments. not argue." and Lancaster will go..."It's cultural exhange!"

God, save me!

==========

Life in school hasn't been that great. Perhaps it hasn't been all the long.

jus kidding.

hahahahahaha
i promised i'd be happy when monday starts.. see, i've done it! Muhahahaha
now who has the last laugh ?

==========

sigh.. another wedding dinner this friday. Don't wish to go, but daddy says we've have to support.

Retarded. I hate it. I hate to attend some function when everyone acts as if they truly love the gathering... putting on fake smiles, giving "heartfelt" congratulations/greetings etc. It's just too fake for me. I just don't know why i think this way. Sigh.

==========

i told my mom i feel like working. She was supportive of course. And when i told her that i've got no more semestral break, she was like... "oh please okay, work on your holiday only. if not don't work okay."

T.T

Well, i guess i won't be able to break free from the comfortable shelter under mummy's wings... lol! Pathetic me! But i kinda like this life~ hehe

==========

okay, i've got the date when i can get my first piercing. 21st Oct. hah.. i wonder if i've built up enough guts on that day. =/

==========

i don't know why, but i feel like talking alot now. Thus the long post. Perhaps it's the result from being deprived of talking. And right now, i bet you'll be thinking who deprived me of talking. Well actually no one. It's just that i've decided to close myself up these days. So the culprit is actually me, myself and i. hahaha

==========

well, it's gonna be school again tomorrow. I hate routines!

12:29 AM
i spilled milk on the lawn



=/


disturbed and confused.
i just wanna return to the way it used to be.
can i?

-------

been sleeping my life away so that time can be killed more efficiently... and also to prevent myself from thinking.

12:27 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



now look..


I said it wouldn't make a difference,
You said it would.
And look, it really didn't make a difference.
So what's the point?
It didn't affected me much, I guess.
It just got numb as time passed by.

things have changed. it' time to let go. so just do it!

Now heck with that.

Shiying i love you for taking flexi with me! =D
can't wait.. can't wait.. hehe

8:13 AM
i spilled milk on the lawn








9:07 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn








It's a blessing we were once close friends.
And if one day you should ever need me again,
I promise i'll be there for you my friend.
A promise that last for eternity.

8:27 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn






Suddenly it striked my mind. The times when we walked pass each other. Each time it happens my mind would turn totally blank. And as we walked pass each other, i stole a little glance at you. I wanted to speak but not a sound came out. It was just another chance that slipped pass again. Nothing had changed.

8:44 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



reality hits hard


SINGAPORE: A woman's severed head and limbs were found next to Orchard MRT Station on Friday.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/167369/1/.html

Sad reality. What a gruesome find by the cleaner. It must have been a big shock to him. I don't understand the need for murderer's to cut their victims into bits and pieces.What is exactly going on the murderer's mind when he did that? Did he enjoy what he saw when he did the act? Like some kind of thrill to see the blood oozing out, and bits of the flesh flying around? Do they feel really guilty and frightened after they did that? Or were they craving for more? Sometimes I really wonder what's the point behind doing all these are, and what triggers them to do such a nasty act.

Well I guess it is no doubt that our psychology is greatly affected from the various exposure we get from the media. Look at what we are watching on television everyday. Yes, it is nothing wrong for the scriptwriter to release his imagination wildly. And if he doesn't, we might very well be watching soap opera everyday. Something not very appealing, isn't it? But looking from another point of view, these awful scripts that are being written and exposed to us, the masses, stimulates a very unhealthy mindset.

Even your daily television serial carries along in it a certain amount of violence. Who hasn't seen a television serial with some psychotic killer in it? Just to mention some, remember the show where actor Chen Han Wei who acted as a crazy man that woke up from a long coma and ended up wanting to kill his wife and best friend? Or maybe take the show "Meng Zai Shou Li" where the crazy uncle acted by Huang Wen Yong wanted to kill his wife, his niece, his niece's fiancee and another lady whom was close to his niece.

Television can be a dangerous! Just look at the amount of violence in what we see daily! And now days with kids staring into the black box almost 90% of the time, wrong messages can be conveyed to them if they do not watch certain programs under parental guidance. But with the busy life a typical parent lives in, it is really hard to have a good control in every aspect in life. Yes, these television dramas always carry along a similar ending message that tells us that violence is not the way to resolve problems. But in a fit of anger when you are fuming mad and you let your imagination run wild, and all these violent acts pollutes into your mind. You might just end up being a murder seconds later. But the television is here to stay. That is for sure.

Perhaps the television is not the only median that exposes us to all this violence. For example the game Counter-Strike. It was a big gaming hit in Singapore a few years ago. Well I won't deny I love to play that game. Basically the game is all about killing spree. Killing, killing and more killing. With the highest number of kills you get, you become the top fragger and you would receive admiration from people around you. What exactly each player feels when they receive this kind of admiration? The sense of satisfaction of killing plus the increasing urge to kill more so as to maintain as the top? But for me, it is only a little praise for my accuracy and speed in playing. It doesn't mean anything more. We've heard the media reporting that youngsters getting hooked on the game haven't we. It is hard to come out with a proper explaination why the game was such a addiction. I've had a friend who told me that he scrimped and save on his meals so that he could spent more time in the lan shop after school. He even missed going back home to rest so just that he could play more of the game. Well, even if the game didn't bring him much negative effect on his mentality, it definately had harmed his health.

The reason why I brought up this game was because I had a negative encounter when playing it a few days ago in school. One of the player (who was in my enemy's team) started abusing vulgarities at me after being killed by me everytime we met. Well, I guess he was boiling mad for he didn't like the feeling of losing everytime. But it is only a game. A game that I felt he took too seriously. I bet with high stakes that he was damn pissed off and everytime a new round starts, he would swear to himself that he would kill me. Well, there you've got! The negative effects on a person's mind when exposed to violent games. Thank God he didn't know my real identity for I wouldn't want someone stalking me preparing to strike any moment! =p

On a serious note, what have mankind turned into? Beast? It won't be surprising that the future generations would turn into cannibals. With so many psychopaths popping up in every corner in Singapore, I think Singapore very soon qualifies as a psychotic country. What a pity.

While I penned my thoughts down, the rain drops fell hard on my rooftop. All the pitter patter drowned the soft music from my pc. And as I gazed outside, I thought to myself: I could die any moment for life is so fragile, so unpredictable.

3:27 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn






Well, been thinking back to the past when i was only a little girl, when times were carefree, and unaware of all the obstacles i have to face in the future. Certain people came to mind. People that made an impact in my life. People that i would never forget.

Sya, you're the first person i've thought of. Honoured? Hmm, back then we always move around in our big cliques but somehow, within that clique we bonded beyond being just normal good friends. And i am glad we did. Remember the daily conversations about life we had on our way back home? You know why i always went home with you although it'll be a longer route home for me? Because you really made me grow up. All the things you spoke too me about. Life, career, family, school, fame and fortune etc. Because of you're family background, you've always been the more matured one. You let me see the other side of the world, that nothing in life is always perfect, and that life still goes on after all whether you like it or not. Well i have to admit that i usually let my heart rule over my head most of the time, and you've been the more rational one. And perhaps that is why you are stronger than me.

Well, haven't seen you for ages now. And i mean ages. There were times when we could have met up but we didn't. Guess we've been busy with our own life, our new group of friends. But thank god we are still in contact. Glad that you pursued a business related course for that is what you've wanted despite the little struggle you have to go through. So yea, work hard over there, i know you will. And hopefully one day we can fufill the little pact we made in the past. Although back then we were only 2 little teenagers unsure about the future ahead of us. well, hope to see you soon. =)

Looking forward to tomorrow when my buddy returns from HK. Feeling happy that i can finally get to see her again after one week. Excited. I wonder if she had grown bigger from all the eating over there.

Life without her around is a little hard to pass. Especially when your buddy has grown on you, like part of your life. And if a part of your life is missing for some time can really make you feel a little down.
But life still goes on, because there are always other good friends around you.

10:13 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn






Supposedly to be yesterday's post but i got rather demoralised of typing after i lost a long email that i typed.

Anyway, yesterday was quite a fun filled day. Gaming session for the whole day. Erm, maybe 3/4 of the day. Ha.. if everyday is gonna be like this, it'll be great. No work. Pure relaxation. Then TEP will gradually turn into some kind of a resort where u come and enjoy your stay and not slog your day away.

About my project.. i think it's dumb. dumb. dumb. The project is briefly about converting an article(given by the respective supervisor) into an e-case(to be placed in CMS). By right my team is supposed to come out with a creative idea on how to let the students understand income statement.I don't see the need to be creative in bringing this across. sigh. Got screwed by the supervisor because my team couldn't come out with an idea. Worst thing, this is the lecturer's work and yet i'm to do it for them. zzz

5:48 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



today




7:20 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



miss pretty flower~


tomorrow will be the start of my long and boring week ahead. why? because miss pretty flower is gonna fly to hk.

1 week. 1 long week w/o seeing her in person and online, w/o getting to tease her, w/o lamenting how boring i am, w/o telling her how happy i am because i saw... or how sad i am because i didn't get to see... i guess there is never a week this long.

eh, i wonder if u get to see this before u leave ur house. anyway, wanna tell ya bon voyage. =)
cya in a week's time. i'll be there at the airport. that's a promise!

11:24 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



headache




7:48 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



shiying


dun read my blog please

4:17 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn



sept 01


she came up after her presentation. i thought it went well. but apparently it didn't. she even cried. it really hurt to watch her cry. i was lost at the moment her tears fell. guilt. i am guilty. it felt like i used someone else's hand to slap her face. although she said it isn't my fault, i know it is. to some extent. i promised her i would do her flash and do it well. but it seemed like i failed. miserably. things might have been better if i didn't do the flash for her. i guess the flash was not appealing, so the teacher made things difficult for her. and also as a result of why the storyboard was being critised. she said that the teacher was baised. i know. but at the end of the day, it boils down to my fault. i got her into trouble. i jeapodized her chance of getting an A for TEP. i'm sorry. i dont know how to make up for it. i really have no idea. i couldn't even make her smile when she cried. sigh. i failed as a friend. i failed terribly. she must have felt really bad. she must have wanted to scold me but she didn't. i wished she did. i know tonight you wont be able to go to sleep feeling happy. though i made you promised that you wont think about it anymore, i know you will. i want to do something to help you. but i can't and i am afraid to. i am sorry. really am. hopefully after your trip to hk, you'll come back smiling. back to your old self.

4:31 PM
i spilled milk on the lawn

29/11/87
a little mystery is good. go figure.


sometimes i love all these pain i'm going through cause they remind me how much a failure i am.

04:00am
12/07/07

chocolate; herself


cockroaches; someone


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