Oh hi, I don't know why I'm here. Probably boredom brought me here. I feel damn sick. Splitting headache and everything. I can't concentrate. My mind wanders off whenever I look at the text. I start doodling on paper. I drew everything. Aeroplanes, stickmans, my friends, dogs, cats, ants, mosquitoes..everything that i can possibly think of.
I met this amazing forum friend. And omg his name is ywann? I mean what kind of a name is that? People are getting really creative with names. I'm so gonna name my child some freaking unique name too.
So much thoughts, so much emotions, swirling inside my mind. Melancholy, i told myself.
Melancholy -noun a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
To let such melancholy that can kill a man befall on me - what was i thinking? O tell me what can be done to take it all away. Let the wind embrace them in it's bosom. Let 'em disappear. And when it does, i will find my foolish self chasing it back.
Melancholy is the hardest thing to deal with next to depression. A personal opinion of course.
Took a deep breath, closed my eyes, revived the moments again. Like a bullet train, memories flashed back. What i saw were pictures that i left behind. That chapter of memories left untouched looked so old. With caution i lifted the book, not allowing any careless mishandling that would cause the old book to disintegrate with age.
Tiny dust particles floated in the air the moment i dust the book. It was alive, the particles. Through the dawn light that shone through the side windows, i could clearly watch them dancing in the air. I stood still and watched till every one of them found a spot on the parquet floor. I tapped my feet lightly and mumbled "I guess it's about time you enjoy such companion."
Diverting my attention away from the 'dance', i gently flip the book opened. I could instantly recognise the smell - it was the smell of history. Revolting but with such sweetness. It smelt like everything of nothing first create. My fingers moved as if tempted to flip the pages. I knew it would turn out to be another emotional turmoil. O such heavy lightness, such serious vanity. Irony is possibly the biggest joke in life.
Yay! Finally i'm leaving school - as in finally leaving the person i hate.
People ask if the hate will ever diminish. No? Ever since that tutorial.. that irritating thing you did. To think you actually looked at me like a joke or something. You thought you were perfect. But you didn't realised how many were put off by your face. (:
Not many people will come to full terms with the reasons why i hate you. But i'm sure those that have been with me through the roughest time of my life will understand. (:
I also know that my dislike for this person may/ or has put some into difficult positions. I'm sorry for it. All i ask is to keep it from people who shouldn't know. (:
Locked up in the room. Blasting every single heavy metal song on the playlist. Drown all sorrows. Hide those tears. Scream your lungs out. Smash that guitar. Let the emotions flow. Fuck it.
It's has been such an unhealthy week - insufficient sleep and overworked body, and yet i had to aggravate the situation by eating unhealthy food like now. I'm swallowing this very plate of fats, oil, and more fats, and whatever unhealthy content that's in there.
But wow, it taste good i tell you. Who cares how much more it's gonna add to the waistline? I'll do the throw up exercise later. -- haha i was just kidding. i'm just trying to imitate my bulimic friend.
My dad used to say: "good stuff are never nice to eat." But that's when we were young, now he seldom give a hoot about what we shove down out throat. Uh-oh.. a little too literal here. Keep your mind on track please. This aint some sex post.
Probably this is my 'healthiest' food? Mixed vegetables.. if you have seen it when you were young.. or in the marts. I like them. All. The carrot, the green pea, the corn. Esp the last one. hahaa.
Anyway it's boiled. You add salt if u want too. For me i boil it w/o salt and i mix it with low fat maragine. It's like cup corn kinda thing.. but it's cup veggie?? Okay.. nvm, let's not chase away the non-veggie lovers.
It's strange how come people resist green peas. Like my brother and sister for instance. Green pea is so nice and it doesn't taste weird at all. For goodness sake, eat some peas.
Ok.. how about some other 'healthy' food i ate.. like:
honey
tuna + apple + tomatoes. erm u can't see the tomatoe cos it's already in my stomach.
Right now i'm starting to recall if i ever had a proper meal for the past week.
Oh, i remember now. I do. I had like sliced fish soup for 3 consecutive meals. Yes 3 consecutive meals - i insisted on it. Sliced fish soup is the next thing to chicken rice that i won't get sick of. But of course sliced fish soup is healthier.
Let me recall... if memory serves my right i fell in love with this when i was in sec 2? My dad brought me to this stall at Circuit Road who sells superb sliced fish soup. I can still remember vividly that the uncle had a weird mole with hair sticking out on his chin. But that's not the point. The point is that the food is nice!
Oh that reminds me.. CNY is coming again. For me CNY revolves around two things:
Bak Kwa
I got a feeling that wenD is thinking abt the cancerous charred part of the Bak Kwa. Anyway it's called herterocyclic amines.. that increases the risk of cancer. Whatever... One life, live it!
and this.. i don't know what it's called but i like it ALOT
coming back on CNY.. think he's coming over for reunion dinner with my family. Woots. I wonder if he's staying till the exams end. I can't wait to start drumming. And i can't wait to get my hands on a drum set. lalala~
Right, so i just had 2 presentations. Presentations for a year 3 student would be like rice.. it's no stranger. But somehow i felt nervous before presenting RW. Nair is like.. super picky, super fussy and super critical. It's so damn hard to fathom what's on her mind. Basically the worst nightmare of every student. Okay, maybe she's second. Noi takes the first place.
Just now i got news from Wan Qiu that Nair said the executive summary should be written the normal way. HUH.......... excuse me? I thought she say we'll die if we didn't add headings and references for ica3? My GOD !!! Sometimes i feel like strangling her. I mean it. I never thought i would leave the school feeling so confused about writing an executive summary.
IB presentation left me confused. The Q&A session was prolly the longest ever in my life. Questions after questions.. the tutor had to ask super challenging questions that made us(maybe just me) walk back to our seats stunned. Then she gave a speech.. and credited our grp for doing a good job and putting facts into our presentation. So... did we do well or not? Hard to gauge.
You know, one think i like abt the IB tutor is that she accept the way we are - a quiet class. And she gave us credit for what we deserved. Not like some biased freak... Can't understand her, but anyway i ain't interested to understand her either.
i thought i had you with me all the long. until i started to realise thatyou were long gone. why did you had to leave me when i needed you the most? i fought so hard to get you back only to see you drift away again. this time i gotyou back once again. now make sure youdon't drift away again my dear mind. i need you for projects.
Lets go back to our old lives Where i had you by my side We could find a place and call it home Lets do the things we used to do All the hugs and kisses We could find our old dreams back All you need to say is yes
The biggest mistake God made i would say is to put man and science together. Putting these 2 together is like building and opposition team with His own bare hands.
"We are not created by God. We came from monkeys. Hail science!"
God ain't that perfect afterall. If He ever exist that is.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were, but I walked away If only I knew what I know today Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away Thank you for all you've done Forgive all your mistakes There's nothing I wouldn't do To hear your voice again Sometimes I wanna call you But I know you won't be there
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss And it's so hard to say goodbye When it comes to this, oooh
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do To have just one more chance To look into your eyes And see you looking back
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you Since you've been away Ooh, it's dangerous It's so out of line To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
... that i would drop dead and die right after effective writing presentation. HAHAHA
Ok on a serious note, it's a god dammed week filled with sleepless nights and vast desperation. So i'm rather prickly so don't come near. Deadlines coming so close, the adrenaline really started pumping. You wished you could disappear with a snap of a finger.
Anyway i noticed Friendster changed their layout again. Hello?! No, it's not any nicer if you ask me. Could you like do something better than this?
Nevertheless we should applaud Friendster for allowing: 1. customization of url 2. customization of profile with scripts 3. customization of testimonials 4. customization of friends list
You see, customization is very important. Why so? Because it adds a personal touch and customers like it! And the best thing is customers can't complain because it's customized according to their preference. This cuts down the level of dissatisfaction so to say.
However Friendster should provide more bandwidth to load pictures. The current limit of 50 pictures is way too little! I'm sure many would be pleased if the limit increases to say 100, won't we? And oh, they should also increase the limit of friends per account. It's irritating to see so many sub accounts.
Oh my.. what has this entry become?
You know it's hard not to be critical when you are taught to do so in school. Education is a powerful tool. You'll be surprised.
Talking about school. I can't believe that we've to include headings and references in an Executive summary. 3 damm years of writing an executive summary for tons of projects and just when i though i've attained mastery level, someone comes up to me and say: "hey you have to put headings and references in your executive summary ok! If not marks will be deducted." wtf. There's only 2 possibilities:
1. all other markers don't know what an executive summary is 2. this marker is trying to be funny
In all my life the hardest executive summary i've wrote was for: Business Finance, Entrepreneurship, and International Business. And very soon i'm gonna add one more to the list thanks to the 'new' ruling.
I was loading some pictures up photobucket and i saw this rather disturbing and nauseating advertisement. Ok it's not rather but very.
You mean you actually call that HOT? Geez... the world is really changing ain't it? I mean, would you want to date such an unkempt girl? She looked so messed up i wonder what the advertisement is trying to imply. Especially when it says "A LOT of FUN!!" I'm sure the response is bad. Do you want to have fun with a bunch of hair? (and god knows what's inside) Do you? Do you?? *hidden agenda*
A: "hey can u block me for 30secs?" me: "y?" A: "i wanna see what it is like to be blocked..."
-blocks A-
and if u are thinking if i've unblocked A, no i haven't and i don't intend to. retard. i hate ppl who disturb me when i'm busy. i've no qualms about blocking them.
I saw this on the net and i had to steal it cos i think it's real funny and dumb. Just imagine the guinea pig saying "Pong!" to the chick.
This reminds me that i used to have a guinea pig of the same color. Actually guinea pigs are not very nice pets in my opinion.. all it does it to give out some squeaking cum whining sound. Not very nice to pet, least to say play with. When i let it out of the cage it'll stay still for 5 minutes before moving. So unlike the rabbit (which i also had at the same time) who was hopping mad.
Oh ya did i mention that i made my dog play the "eat the guinea pig game" the guinea pig play with my dog? Looks totally retarded. But it kills time. And before any animal lovers starts hurling abuses - no there weren't any casualties.
Nanyang poly the innovative polytechnic. Oh yes we are, besides the fact that we produce top notch porn stars we also give away innovative freebies. Look i'm so proud of my school!
Oh yea, did i mention one f_cking jackass cabbie i met? I would like to stomp my feet on his face the next time. Damn $12 (not $12 actually, read on) ride from school back home. It's like the MOST expensive ride ever (from school to home). Even when i cab down to school during peak hours it's only like 8-9 bucks.
Anyhow, the fare wasn't exactly 12 bucks. That f_cking cabbie thought that cheating me by traveling the extra long way home isn't enough so he decided to play with figures. Kns. Maybe i looked tired(which i was) so he decided to try his luck and cheat me.
$8.90 + $2 = $10.9 but he decided to tell me "$11.90 miss". I was tired and prolly couldn't calculate properly so i dug out 12 bucks and handed him without hesitation. His action was damn slow... i think he was trying to not return me my 10cents change. I didn't want the 10cents change anyway so i alighted. Just before i alight the cab i saw the meter jump to $9. Then i was thinking... eh 9+2= $11.
WTF.
It's not that i can't part with $1. But i don't like to be cheated. NB. That was the worst ride ever considering that the cab smelt like there's some decaying corpse at the boots. Oh did i mention it's a SMRT cabbie? That's the reason why i always insist on taking Comfort cab only. Comfort cabbies are definitely nicer and the cab smells better too.
As for today, surprising my dad didn't resist when i told him i wanted KFC for lunch. In fact he even drove me there and ate KFC for lunch too. Thank God that he was willing to let me have KFC for lunch. It has been ages since i last ate KFC cause i was avoiding it... all the oil... fats... yikes!
Those who knows know that my dad is a health freak. KFC for lunch? Hmmm... questionable doubts here. Possibilities why he actually agreed could be that:
1. he has long forgotten how fried chicken taste like 2. sudden mouth watering craving when i mention fried chicken 3. exceptionally good mood 4. tired of chinese cuisines 5. .....
Anyway the point is that tasty food are always unhealthy. Sad isn't it? I mean you can count with ten fingers (may not necessarily use all of them) the number healthy food that actually taste good.
i brought this for my pet ant
Oh hi, I don't know why I'm here. Probably boredom brought me here. I feel damn sick. Splitting headache and everything. I can't concentrate. My mind wanders off whenever I look at the text. I start doodling on paper. I drew everything. Aeroplanes, stickmans, my friends, dogs, cats, ants, mosquitoes..everything that i can possibly think of.
Melancholy is the hardest thing to deal with next to depression. A personal opinion of course.
Yay! Finally i'm leaving school - as in finally leaving the person i hate.
stuck?
Locked up in the room.
It's has been such an unhealthy week - insufficient sleep and overworked body, and yet i had to aggravate the situation by eating unhealthy food like now. I'm swallowing this very plate of fats, oil, and more fats, and whatever unhealthy content that's in there.
Probably this is my 'healthiest' food? Mixed vegetables.. if you have seen it when you were young.. or in the marts. I like them. All. The carrot, the green pea, the corn. Esp the last one. hahaa.
Oh, i remember now. I do. I had like sliced fish soup for 3 consecutive meals. Yes 3 consecutive meals - i insisted on it. Sliced fish soup is the next thing to chicken rice that i won't get sick of. But of course sliced fish soup is healthier.
Anyway i noticed Friendster changed their layout again. Hello?! No, it's not any nicer if you ask me. Could you like do something better than this?
I was loading some pictures up photobucket and i saw this rather disturbing and nauseating advertisement. Ok it's not rather but very.
I saw this on the net and i had to steal it cos i think it's real funny and dumb. Just imagine the guinea pig saying "Pong!" to the chick.
雨下得好安静
Oh yea, did i mention one f_cking jackass cabbie i met? I would like to stomp my feet on his face the next time. Damn $12 (not $12 actually, read on) ride from school back home. It's like the MOST expensive ride ever (from school to home). Even when i cab down to school during peak hours it's only like 8-9 bucks.
sometimes i love all these pain i'm going through cause they remind me how much a failure i am.
